This is one of my favorite verses on parenting.
It’s apparent throughout the previous chapters how bold and persistent Lehi was in teaching and exhorting his family. But this verse gives us a precious glimpse into Lehi’s HEART and his DEMEANOR, as he once again mustered up all he had, and lovingly urged them with “all the feeling of a tender parent”.
Parenting is hard! But parenting a child who is rebellious, or who has “wandered off” or “fallen away into forbidden paths” is MUCH harder. It can be heart-wrenching, and often these parents don’t know what to do.
Look to Lehi’s example.
STAY by the tree, and “beckon” for them to come where you are. If you leave the tree to go to them, you’ll both be lost. Be sure to SHOW them that you LOVE them, so they will WANT to come to where you are.
Lehi followed a pattern that is given in Doctrine & Covenants 121:41-45: [use] “persuasion” “long-suffering” “gentleness and meekness” “love unfeigned” (sincere) “kindness” “Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy; That he may know that thy faithfulness (or care and devotion to them) is stronger than the cords of death.”
Family researchers have identified a few different parenting styles. The most effective one is “authoritative” parenting, which is a mix of love, warmth, & healthy attachment, along with clear guidelines and rules, and allowing the child agency. Instead of using control, these parents assist their children in making good choices by helping them understand the outcomes of their decisions. And although they have high expectations, the parent-child relationship remains healthy because they have a very loving relationship.
This is Heavenly Father‘s parenting style. And it’s how Lehi was trying to parent.
Think of your own parenting interactions. How could your family relationships improve by communicating more lovingly? Are you teaching and guiding them, but then respecting their agency?
If they are wandering, remember that your job is to LOVE and TEACH them, and to LEAD them to God. And when you’ve done all you know how, you can trust that God will take care of the rest.
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